Heads and Tails
by Ace Frost
Summary: Allen Walker is brought to black order headquarters as a child. Together he grows up with Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda. As they grow older the complications increase. Allen is faced with two paths:remain with his excorcist friends or take life as a Noah.
1. Scene 1 Allen Walker

DISCLAIMER: I do not own D.Grey-man in any way! R&R

Scene 1 – Allen Walker

They all grew up together: Lenalee, Lavi, and Kanda. The three child exorcists of the black order growing up together in this blood soaked world. Where each of their futures unraveled, slowly and tenderly, into what they did and continue to do to this day in order to win this war. In that world of akuma were the three of them, they watched as many around them died and suffered every day. To them it was normal; it was a mere routine, a very cruel routine.

But on one fateful night did General Marian Cross return to headquarters with a certain disciple. A young boy with snow-white hair and two eyes that was different from each other. He was around the same age as Lavi, Kanda, and Lenalee. He hid behind his master with Timcanpy fluttering at his own shoulder. Allen Walker was his given name, and with a shivering frightened expression of a cowering mouse to its prey did he met the gaze of the three young exorcists soon to be his cherished companions. On that cloudy day with the sky murky with clouds of gray and black did General Cross leave his disciple behind at the black order headquarters. For the world would show no mercy even to such a being so young.

Allen sat alone in his room for days, waiting desperately for his master's return. He was fighting that feeling he frantically denied, that feeling of being betrayed and left behind. It was his world. His world with only master and himself, and the memories that tugged at his soul that was his world. It didn't include the black order; he didn't want to be there. His place was with Cross. Walker refused to leave the room, he refused to eat, and did not sleep. He faithfully waited, because that doubt in his master was unacceptable. And he would not accept it in any way.

It was the ninth night since Allen had come and remained in the solitude of his room to wait for his master. Kanda walked in, rather pissed off at Lavi for his senseless teasing and pestering. He glared down at Allen with his arms crossed on his chest, "Hey you, moyashi!"

Allen glanced up with eyes of emptiness that were surrounded by pitch-black rings under his eyes. He just stared at the longhaired male without much enthusiasm and emotions. That drove Kanda even angrier. "Hey, I'm talking to you, moyashi! Answer when people address you!"

"What?" the white haired boy's voice cracked slightly, and his throat felt rather was dry.

"Stop sulking already and get on with your life! Sitting here doing nothing is useless, so get up already!"

"I'm not sulking!" Walker glared slightly, peeved.

"Shut up!" Yu snapped, "What're you just sulking here for anyways?"

Allen hesitated, the anger that has resided in him brewing to a stop. He broke the eye lock and looked downwards to his own feet, "I'm…waiting for master to come back…"

Now as you might know Kanda can be a little _harsh_ at times, and above all impulsive. Oh, screw that, Kanda Yu is blunt and loud, and gets to the point of things. And as expected to he was loud and blunt about this subject as well. "Get over it, stupid! Your master isn't coming back for some time, and there's nothing you can do about it! So you might as well just keep going with your life instead of wasting your time sulking about it!"

"You don't understand!" Allen jumped to his feet, hands balled up into tight fists as his small figure shook with sorrow and anger, "You don't understand _anything_! Master would never…_betray_ me like this… He just can't!" Tears streamed his different eyes, much to the shock of the black haired boy who stood in front of him.

With a sigh, Kanda held the white haired boy's head to the crook of his neck in an act of comfort to the insecure boy, "Your master isn't betraying you in any way by _leaving_ you. He's just away for now, and will surely return in time. So stop blubbering like a baby and stand tall as a man, so when Cross gets back he'll be proud to see you, and to have you as his disciple."

"B-but…" Allen murmured through quieting sobs, "What is I can't stand right now…?" His legs shook like a new born calf's as he leaned into the warm crook of the long haired boy.

"Then I'll help you stand…_idiot_." Yu retorted, but the only replies were sobs.

--

So the trio became a pack of four: Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda, and Allen. They grew older within the insecurities and securities of the lives they held together. But this was only the beginning for all of them, especially for Cross' disciple, dear Allen Walker. The future was not known to be very kind on the path of an exorcist. A part exorcist and Noah at that.


	2. Scene 2 Millennium Earl

DISCLAIMER: do not own D.Grey-man or any characters. I did this chapter quickly...R&R!

Scene 2 – Millennium Earl

Allen Walker could never understand what goes on in Kanda Yu's brain. It seemed somehow that the longhaired man's thoughts were in a way wired completely differently than his own. But this train of thought was also how Kanda felt about Allen, he could just not get what made the stupid moyashi act the way he did: overly annoying and just plain irritating. Half the time…oh scratch that, _most_ of the time the pure oriental looking man who sheathed a sword at his waist would be ever so tempted to end the life of the other man. Even with the many years that had passed, that have turned them into teenagers, the two did not quite exactly get along.

"Does Kanda hate me?" Allen slumped down onto the bookman junior's bed, blurting out the question in a rather depressed tone rather then answering Lavi's greeting. The red haired man glanced at his friend with a sigh.

"No he doesn't," Lavi replied reassuringly, "Yu-chan is just like that." A blade in one sudden movement extended to the man's neck as a voice barked out in slight irritation.

"Don't call me that, patch! And I am just like what?" Kanda glared at Lavi with deep contempt.

"Nothing, _Yu-chan_." Lavi danced around the sword's edge with a blissful expression on his face. Kanda was about to end the man's life when Komui approached them, quickly briefing them for a mission. This was not rare; there had been quite a few sudden missions lately. It was not the Noahs that had been busy, but their akuma rather.

"Not _again_," grumbled Allen as he pulled his jacket around his lanky figure tightly. It was getting chilly lately, and he didn't like it. The cold made him feel slightly sluggish, and the sudden mission didn't exactly help at all.

"Shut up, moyashi," growled Kanda as he glared at the white haired boy's direction. Missions like these didn't exactly go well with him either, but the bean sprout's complaining made it all the worse. Maybe his voice just had some kind of component that naturally pissed Kanda off? No? Well, it _is_ possible, I suppose…

After wiping out most of the akuma, the group of three consisted of Lavi, Allen, and Kanda decided to split up to finish up the rest of the akuma. As Allen walked off to see to the destruction of the akumas in his given territory did he come upon something interesting. Or rather, _someone_.

"_You_…. A _Noah_?" Allen's eyes widened as he stared into the cold mysterious eyes of Road. The Noah in the form of a pale girl with a mischievous spiky hair with her tongue softly curled around a lollipop. She grinned at the exorcist slightly, before granting him entry to her world of dreams. Or she was about to, before the Earl himself stopped her.

"_Earl_!" Road pouted when he stopped her. But the Millennium Earl ignored the girl's whining and addressed her sharply.

"He is Allen Walker," he smiled, "And his role is _very_ important to our plans!"

"Fine, fine," Road sighed deeply, "But you owe me dessert tonight! And a bunch of lollipops!" And they departed, only to leave Allen there, dumbstruck. That was the _earl_, the one who haunted every fiber in the boy's beings. He was the cause of the deep ache in his chest and the fear he desperately tried to forget, but couldn't even to this day. The Millennium Earl who pierced the childhood of Allen Walker.

As he stood there in shock, and paralysis from the sight of the earl, a curious akuma decided to take the open opportunity to attack the unmoving exorcist, who had let his guard down considerably. The akuma lunged at him, and Allen only noticed it when it was about to reach contact to his body. The boy flinched, his body readying itself for pain. But there was no agony registered.

"What're you doing, moyashi?" Kanda angrily spoke, in a way lecturing him as he quickly destroyed the akuma. After he let his arm with the sword in hand drop to his side, he turned around to face his (kind of) friend.

"I saw _him_…" Allen whispered.

"_Him_…?" Kanda wondered, but Walker's eyes had already reached to nil of black, his brain silently shutting down, as if rebooting itself. Allen, therefore, enclosed into the darkness.


	3. Scene 3 Snow

Sorry for VERY late update... This chapter is slightly depressingly sad...? But it seems to me that Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee are all pretty sad, if you think about it. Nevertheless, please **R&R**! And I thank those who have (I'll mention you in the next chapter...umm, I'll try?) This was sort of rushed, so it's pretty short. Hope you enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own _D.Gray-man_ or any of the characters!

Scene 3 – Snow

There was darkness, and a moon, but no stars to give hope or light the way. Trudging forwards, Allen Walker feels as if he's being yanked. Like a doll, he has no control. He wants to scream and rebel against the movements that are his yet not _his_. It isn't happening, he is imprisoned to watch. As the eerie moon glows a dull tricolor he approaches the darkness of the sky. He's being pulled deeper into it as a familiar voice beckons him. Is it Mana that is controlling him? Is it Mana? Thoughts like that sweep in his frail mind as tears trickle down his face. They are sticky, like blood, and just as thick and dark. But it isn't his blood, who's it then? When one drop hits the darkness he stands on, it breaks the spell.

Allen tumbles back into reality, to equally as sorrowful waiting arms.

--

And opening his eyes the white haired boy sees a slightly flustered oriental man. With confusion he reaches out to cup the worried face in the shaking hand, "Kanda, what's wrong?"

The Japanese man stops, debating on what to say, how to put it into appropriate words. The boy lying on the bed clustered with crisp creamy sheets looks too fragile. Looks too easy to break, and Kanda doesn't want the boy to be destroyed. That'd be like destroying himself, not that he would ever tell anyone else about that feeling. Finally he speaks quietly, "You stopped breathing."

Allen nods with comprehendible understanding, "Oh…" It hurts him too, to see Kanda so flustered and confused. And what makes it even more agonizing is to know the reason for those feelings are the fault him. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, Allen wants to sob.

Lavi rushes in, taking no notice of the stone cold atmosphere of the room. He hugs the boy lying on the bed with a carefree like attitude, but there is more to that. It was bond between them. A bond built with Allen, Lenalee, Kanda, and Lavi himself. No matter what facades they hid behind, what words they used when they meant differently, they knew. That bond that bound the sorrow of all their heats together still remained after all those years.

Pain is unforgettable, no matter what anyone else might say.

And the way Lavi embraced his friend was filled with such more deep meaning then the words out of his mouth might say. There was relief, joy, and deep sadness. But there was also fear, the terror of how close they had been to losing Allen.

Hugging his dark jacket around him tighter, Allen looks down at the floor of the train. Lavi, Lenalee, and the Bookman are in another cart as Kanda and Allen are sat in this one. Glancing outside Allen murmurs in slight surprise, "Oh…Kanda…look, its snow…"

And Kanda looks up from his book he had just picked up from nowhere to see the snow white flakes fluttering around outside. It looks as if the flakes are dancing, enjoying themselves in a festive mood. It reminds the swordsman of the smiles of children and families playing outside, carefree, in the snow. As if they were untouchable by any misfortune. As if it would last forever. That slightly pisses him off, but rather, he is more or less sad when he remembers this. Snow meant unhappiness to him. How the hours dragged on and on, seemingly with no end. And how time could just past in a flash, without anyone noticing.

It also reminded him of Allen, Lenalee, and Lavi. How they kidded around so easily back then, each and every one ignoring their own pain, even for just a second. And how the moments passed so quickly. How they each grew up differently, an awkward blanket draped over them. Yet even if the bond of happiness cracked, the bond of sorrow could not.

"I don't like the snow," Yu finally retorted. It was a childish statement, but he meant it so deeply it was beyond those feeble words. But it made Allen smile sadly.

Turning his gaze to Kanda he smiled, "But it come anyways, doesn't it?"

It was like saying their pain was unpreventable.

"_That's why I hate it._"

The window fogged up from his frosty breath.


	4. Scene 4 Hope

Another update (Yay?) due to a spark of idea at school today (I sort of wrote this in my agenda during Math...). By now I supposed that you have noticed the slight Allen and Kanda (Yullen) fluff in this. I just love the pair...and maybe thats why the story goes like this...heh. But mostly I intend them to be very dear friends! Friendship's good, right? But anyways, Its sort of short (ever notice how it always looks longer in word document?!) and call outs to my dearest reviewers and such at the end! **REVIEW** so I'll be motivated to continue! Please and thank you's and enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own _D.Gray-man_, if I did it'd be Yullen overboard...

--

Scene 4 – Hope

Slowly, ever so bit-by-bit, Allen was being consumed by his pain. The lost of his parents was the first toll…but more importantly, the lost of Mana, and the effect of his curse upon him. It ate away at him like a dog on the brink of starvation gnawing on a bone that was his soul.

The white haired boy stumbled uneasily off the train, almost tipping over entirely. Kanda reached out instinctively to aide him, but Lavi beat him to it. The Bookman Junior carefully supported him. Because he could see it too. He could see what Kanda saw. The frailness of Allen Walker.

He was breaking. More and more each and every single day. It was like someone pulling a rug beneath his feet, the particles in his world were cracking and reducing to ruble that tumbled downwards to his eventual oblivion.

But Kanda didn't want that. He didn't want to watch the terrifying scene of that, and couldn't stand it if it happened right before his very eyes. He barked out just like the old days, or the supposed 'routine' of days, "Be more careful next time, _moyashi_!" But this time it was different. Allen didn't respond, nothing whatsoever from him. Glancing into his two different eyes Yu could see the foggy deadness in his eyes. As if he had given up on life entirely… His blood boiling with anger, fear, and sorrow, Kanda grabbed the wrist of Allen roughly, nearly dragging the poor (now disoriented) boy behind him despite the protests that came from Lavi and Lenalee.

"K-Kanda, what're you doing?" Allen stuttered, wincing at the steel hold on his wrist and trying to keep up with the longhaired man's lengthy legs. At that point Yu turned a right, into an alley, pushing the white haired boy against the brick wall with intended and clumsy force. '_Ah…I'm going to die…_' Allen closed his eyes in sheer terror, readying himself for the wrath of Mugen.

But none came.

"Huh…?" Allen batted open his eyes with caution, but immediately one of Kanda's hands covered them. "Kanda…?"

"Don't talk…" The taller man's voice came out cracked and wavering, heavy with pain and feeling. "I don't want to see eyes like those… It hurts so much. Moyashi…_Allen_…please hold on. I-I'm not as strong as I was back then when you first came to the order, but I'll try my best to hold you up like I did then. So don't give up yet…just don't…" Tears stung his eyes, but he refused to cry them. For Allen's sake he had to hold on when Allen had nothing to grip. He had to be the strong pillar that held him up, because Kanda didn't want him to be blown off and away.

That'd be like losing himself, but _worse_.

At that very moment Allen go it. All the time he felt as if he was too focused on his own pain, always expecting someone else to be there to keep him alive through the day at the very least. It was and had always been Kanda to be there for him. Sure Lenalee and Lavi helped, but Kanda was the one that was always there no matter what. And in this instant Allen also discovered something also…Kanda was not as strong as he thought. While holding up his pain and sorrows, Kanda also struggled to grip onto his own. It was like holding too many pencils then you should in your hand. They threatened to slip and fall to the floor at any second.

"I…I will…" Allen embraced his dearest companion tightly against his own small figure. He knew Kanda would support his uncertainties no matter what it was. But at that moment Allen Walker vowed to be the one to sustain Kanda's own uncertainties. Even if he couldn't hold his own up, there would be Kanda to help him. The very least he could do was to do the same back for the man who was indeed not as strong as he seemed. The very least he could do was support Kanda.

Because both their hearts were way too fragile.

And could shatter completely to nothingness at any second.

--

"Yu-chan! Moyashi-chan! Are you two okay?" Lavi cried out when the two returned and immediately he embraced Allen tightly. "Yu-chan didn't do anything _inappropriate_ to you, right?"

"Shut up, baka usagi!" growled Kanda as he quickly unsheathed his Mugen in order to obliterate Lavi. And the two continued to bicker and create an unnecessary ruckus in the festive town covered in snow. Slipping out of the hold of Lavi quite easily, Allen went to stand with Lenalee, away from the scene. When the girl met his eyes a wave of relief washed over her. The sparkle of hope in her friend's eyes had returned. It was bright and shining, bringing a giddy pang of joy into her heart. The two of them laughed quietly together as the Bookman whopped both Kanda and Lavi's asses for disrupting the calm of the day.

--

REVIEW NOW!! Please...? And thank you to the following (PS: **A SNEAKY PREVIEW FOR NEXT CHAPTER WHEN I TRY TO FOCUS ON LAVI FOR A BIT**!):

Cross - The Damned Alchemist - THANKS FOR REVIEWING and for the favorite and alert!

Junoan - Slight Yullen, I guess? Thanks for reviewing and favoriting! And the alert.

Akira Yamane - I'll try to update more. Thanks for review and alert.

addenza - Thanks & slight Yullen. Thanks for review and alert!

Darknoir99 - Thanks for favorite...and alert...and please review...? Puppy dog eyes

Tina86Roses - Thanks for favorite...and please review...? desperate...

Kyurengo - Thanks for alert, and please review, nyeh...?

Michi-chan2 - Thanks for alert, and please review...?

Mizu1411 - Thanks for alert & please review!

MizuKitsune10 - Thank you for alert but please review!

MysticMaiden 18 - Thanks for alert, but please review!

Shadow of a Life - Thanks for alert, but please review!

icegoddess52 - thanks for alert, but please review!

**--PREVIEW--**

_Is the shattering of this bond near? Please God, as your faithful child, I pray for hope and a bit of happiness. Please answer my plea...a breeze...and whisper, anything will do. As one of your apostles, I serve you until the end of my life and cease of my breath, but is this road I take supposed to be this hard? Will there be light at the end of this sea of blood and war? And please...can I stand by the eventual destruction of my friends, and take their fate...their destiny as mine as well?_

_Why am I forced to observe from the side lines? To watch the pain with a unbiased, emotionless heart and mind. _

_Please tell me there is an answer to my questions._

_Because I can't just stand by much longer._


	5. Scene 5 Duty

It is now Scene 6...starring Lavi-kun! I wrote this quick again...sorry...and the snow thing with God is not meant to offend anyone...and also something I sort of made up... But anyways, do enjoy and review! I shall list my reviewers and all in either the next Scene or the one after that!

**AND THERE IS A SLIGHT BONUS!** At the end of Scene 7 is a preview for my other D.Grey-man fic, _The Act of Murder_ that stars Rhode-pyon and Allen-chan! It's about Rhode and Allen living in a time of high aristocratic society as nobility. Plus the Noah family is known for illegal dealings, but were never put behind bars being as sneaky and secretive as they are. Allen-chan happens to meet Rhode, and she decides makes him her new 'toy'. But what if Allen is working undercover for the police to put the Noah family behind bars? Will he be caught? And what will happen if he _is_ caught? Please read the preview, and if you like please go read the rest of the first chapter! ANYWAYS, onwards to Scene 6 of _Heads and Tails_. REMEMBER TO REVIEW!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own D.Gray-man, but I do own some of the manga!

--

Scene 6 – Duty

_Is the shattering of this bond near? Please God, as your faithful child, I pray for hope and a bit of happiness. Please answer my plea...a breeze...and whisper, anything will do. As one of your apostles, I serve you until the end of my life and the cease of my breath, but is this road I take supposed to be this hard? Will there be light at the end of this sea of blood and war? And please...can I stand by the eventual destruction of my friends, and take their fate...their destiny as mine as well?_

_Why am I forced to observe from the sidelines? To watch the pain with an unbiased, emotionless heart and mind. _

_Please tell me there is an answer to my questions._

_Because I can't just stand by much longer._

Lavi closed his eyes as he inwardly winced at his bandaged hand. He clutched it to his chest, holding it against the hole of his heart and soul. He felt as cursed as the eye of his friend, Allen Walker. The four of them, Lenalee, Allen, Kanda, and himself were all cursed in a way: Lavi as the future to be Bookman, Allen with his eye and twisted fate, Kanda with the lotus on his chest, and Lenalee who was forever bound to the order. And the final point that connected them all: their sorrow.

He glanced up at the star covered sky as the snow fluttered down from the heavens above. He was once told that snow was the hold of God. It was a blessing of ephemeral beauty and grace. But it was also the shackles God put upon his children so they would never run away. _So they could never escape their destined fates._

"Why must I be the bookman?" he whispered as a soft puff of fog came out of his mouth. He reaches up to capture the soft fluff from the skies. Plucking it out of the night air slowly, he brought his hand in front of his face. As he opened his palm he saw a dot of water, which was what was left of the snowflake. If snow was the imprisonment of God, why was it so easily destroyed? As it dissolved so easily in the hold of humans…

Lavi was left with a mountain of questions with no apparent answers as a burden in his chest. He wanted to grasp the bag of wonder in his hands and slowly pour it out into the space above him, so that the wind would blow his confusion to oblivion. In order for his carefree façade to not be a mask, but the raw truth, he needed it to be released. If only it was that then maybe he would find happiness in this agonizing era of ferocious battles and spilt blood. They may be in the position of winning the battle of innocence against Noah, but truly he was losing the battle between his freedom and sorrow.

Then with a soft realization he smiled a tiny sorrow filled smile. The reason for snow was not the shackles of God. It was the thought of God imprisoning his children so they wouldn't leave him. It was the action that he couldn't bring himself to do. It was the saddened feelings that melted to liquid, to tears of sorrow sent down from God.

Suddenly there was a giant crash, with the sound of Kanda cursing from afar. Not long after that, around a split second to be exact did the wall in front of Lavi falter downwards. As the ruble cleared it revealed the attacking akuma to him. Gritting his teeth Lavi summoned his hammer. Without a thought he became a mindless soldier, instinct running rather then the brain thinking. With his keen eyes and analyzing he absorbed the situation and happenings around him.

He did what Bookmen do: he took in the life force of all information and registered it to his endless shelves of memory in his brain.

After all, he was merely like a hard drive in a computer…only there to record.

Unbiased, emotionless, with no opinion…_his duty_.

--

--

**A preview of my other story, **_The Act of Murder_**:**

_As Rhode almost utterly destroyed her alarm clock she rolled onto her side. In the midst of a feathery snow white bed rained with royal pillows and fluffy stuffed toys was the young girl. Her hair was even more rebellious than usual, probably due to the restless sleep she had the previous night before. With a deep sigh the side of her face dug into the pillow she currently rested her head on as she pulled the soft silk sheets of purple closer to her small figure._

"_Rhode!" Tyki Mikk called as he opened the door to her room without a single care to knock, "Wake up!" With an annoyed groan the girl sat up in her bed, busying her hands in the task to untangle her hair. Her golden eyes met the ones her intruder after a few quiet moments._

"_You're supposed to knockbefore you enter a lady's room, Tyki," the girl scolded him with a growl. Her voice was velvety and tinkled like the most beautiful sound in the world. It was like a violin, fast paced and light with a secretive mask of mystery hidden beneath the folds. "And I am very much awake…too awake for my liking, rather…" She trailed off as she rubbed her feline eyes._

_Tyki sat himself on the side of her bed, ignoring her correction of his manners, "Hmm…it's a very good thing you're awake, you wouldn't want to miss the events planned for today." The man's voice was as smooth as baby skin and seemingly always seductive in a mischievous manner. At the sound of the news Rhode instantly brightened, letting her hands fall from the attempt to straighten up her hair, and leaning closer to hear what else her dear family member had to say. "Tonight is a very important party," he continued with a smirk, "The Earl has planned a special bang tonight…"_

_In the Noah family a bang always meant blood, killing, and war. If this party required that, then surely they would be intending along with one of their enemies…one of their associatesthat they didn't quite get along with. The news made Rhode squeal in anticipation. For…the Noah family was not just any noble family. They were a family of treachery, greed, and power through blood._

_They were one of the top Mafia families out there._


	6. Scene 6 Kiss

Sorry for the not updating...I guess I got lazy? Plus Halloween is approaching, I must get ready my costume! Hmm...I wonder of any of you, my readers, are dressing up, nyee?

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own D.Grey-man!

Scene 6 – Kiss

_For you I would do anything…_

A shivering oriental girl stalked towards the exorcist and Bookman Junior known as Lavi. The night was cold and unforgiving, causing Lenalee to grip her black jacket closer to her slim figure. How fragile she looked, thought Lavi, deep in his own thoughts. Lenalee gave him a small smile before speaking the question that stung her heart, "_Are you lonely?_"

To Lavi it was a strange question. As timid and harmless as it seemed it was a façade hiding the pain. So Lavi smiled, the easy lighthearted smile he learned to fake. And with a soft voice carried in the light breeze of the night, "Are _you_ lonely?" When he opened his eyes from the smile he saw the tears glistening on the girl's face. They dripped and fell to the balcony they both stood on. Her hands moved to cover and wipe away the tears upon her face before she retreated back to her room.

"_Yes, Lavi, I am lonely."_

--

Allen stared at the same sky that everyone else in the world could see. He felt connected by it, the connection to humanity just by merely looking at it. Slowly he inched his arm towards the sky, as if he could collect the stars in his palms and make them all his.

He couldn't sleep, not at all. And even when he could nightmares would haunt him. The mysterious voice of a young girl teasing him as deep foggy clouds surrounded him. She tried to persuade him at first, but then _told_ him that he would be theirs. What scared him most was how sure the voice was when she spoke. It didn't let him rest in peace, it refused to let him be free. Every time he faced the voice, the burdened feeling in his chest would become heavier and heavier. Allen felt that he could barely breath, and he could barely walk. He felt like curling up into a ball to sob endlessly, letting the darkness enclose him. Corrosively eating him away from the inside of his very being.

With a gasp his world became black, and his lungs could not reach air. Was he dying? And if he was, why was this feeling far from blissful. He vaguely felt something hold him. Numb, he was not sure, was he being delusional?

And then came bliss. Soft against his lips, and a cold breeze rushing into him, it chilled him down to his lungs. But strangely enough, it felt wonderful.

Cracking open his eyes he saw the Japanese man he knew and felt dear to him. The man opened his mouth, as if to ask him if her was all right. But the words did not come. Allen succumbed to the chilly yet warm feeling, capturing the other man's lips onto his.

No words were to be expressed. No words to say how close the white haired boy had been to death.


End file.
